Unhappy

If you are not happy there are only 2 choices.Change your experiences or change your expectations. Change your life or change your beliefs.
Anthony Robbins

What do you do when you are not happy. Most of us focus on what is making us unhappy and ruminate on all the things that are wrong with it, and even all the things that are wrong with us for having a problem with it. We complain to our friends and family, and discuss what is wrong in some detail. This never quite solves the problem however. Not only are we still unhappy but now our friends and family are unhappy too.

There are really only two effective solutions. The first is to change your experiences. To change your life. We need to find more effective ways of living so that we don't even run into all those problems. In other words, we need to find effective ways to avoid having problems. If we are in a relationship we don't like, we would find a way of finding a new relationship, either with that person or with someone new, that is not problematical. If we are in debt we would find a way of making sure we don't get into (more) debt in the future. If we go on doing what we have always done, we will always get the same results. If at all possible, we must change our actions to change our experiences which will change our life.

The second solution is to change your expectations. To change your beliefs. This is often the more difficult solution, depending on how deeply your beliefs are entrenched. If we are in a relationship we don't like, we would not expect so much from that relationship, or alter our beliefs about what a relationship should look like. If we are in debt, we would change our expectations and beliefs about either how much money we can make or how much money we need to spend on different things given our income level. We must examine our beliefs and weed out the unrealistic ones; the ones that have been handed to us by our parents, other influential people, and society that are not useful for us now

If you are not happy there are only 2 choices.Change your experiences or change your expectations. Change your life or change your beliefs. To ruminate on your problems is to invite more problems into your future; because you are focusing on the problem and what is wrong instead of on the solution and what will be right. Complaining to others makes things even worse because you, and they, are seeing yourself as a victim who has no control over your circumstances. The only effective thing to do is to find a way to either change your experience of life or to change your actual circumstances.