The aim of education should be to teach us how to think, rather than what to think.
James Beattie
I think there is a lot wrong with the way I see education in today's schools. Every teacher I have talked to complains about the government's standardized tests because the government is setting the agenda for what people should know; instead of the school district which has a much better idea of what their students actually need to know. Teachers spend so much time on the generic government curriculum that they don't get time to teach anything else that they might be an expert in and/or that their students would find more useful.
There is a school in Massechussets which fascinates me because it is so radically different from the schools we all went to, and yet it works very well. In this school, there are no classes, no tests, no grades. The students can do whatever they want all day (this is a boarding school). It is completely democratic and since the students outnumber the staff they decide almost everything about the everyday running of the school, including who the staff (their "teachers") will be. And yet most students graduate from this school at the usual time and go off to conventional universities and do very well in them.
I think the beauty of this school is really that the students are not forced to follow a standardized curriculum that may not suit them (There are stories of children who didn't learn to read until they were age 11 but as soon as they decided they were ready they caught up to their peers within a few months because they were truly ready). These kids are taught how to think because they are forced to come up with a curriculum for themselves and how and when they are going to find the necessary information. And they really do rise to the occasion.
The aim of education should be to teach us how to think, rather than what to think. What we should think is changing all the time because the world around us is changing. There is real danger in clinging to outmoded ways of thinking and doing things. But if we learn how to think, then we are able to adapt to whatever life throws at us. We have a much better understanding of ourselves and our needs and wants, and are better able to find a way to satisfy them no matter what the outside conditions.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Feelings about Others
It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others.” – Sydney J. Harris
Aside from your family, who you have no control over, other people, who you have chosen in some way to be in your life, are mirrors of yourself. You are in a way choosing those people who will validate your view of yourself, good or bad. We all want desperately to be validated. But we don't realize that by choosing certain people to be with us we are validating our idea of who we are instead of our idea of who we want to be.
Even, typically, when you choose a mate, you are choosing someone who will reflect your ideas of what personality characteristics you feel you are missing but really want to have. They are a reflection of what you want to be but feel that you are not. It is all about you and your needs, and the needier you are the more pronounced this tendency becomes.
There is a saying that whenever you point a finger at someone else in judgment, there are really three fingers pointing back at you. Just recently I judged someone harshly and even as I was doing it I knew that it was because she reminded me of all those things about myself that I would prefer not to face. She was in a way validating my critical opinion of myself. It wasn't about her faults, it was about mine.
This is something we all need to be aware of as we go around judging everyone. Instead of judging them we need to realize that we invited them into our lives for a reason. We need to ask ourselves "What can I learn about myself from this person? What can he/she tell me about where I need to improve?". And to recognize that if we are not comfortable being with them, it is because we are not comfortable being with ourselves. It is ourselves that we need to try to improve, not them.
Aside from your family, who you have no control over, other people, who you have chosen in some way to be in your life, are mirrors of yourself. You are in a way choosing those people who will validate your view of yourself, good or bad. We all want desperately to be validated. But we don't realize that by choosing certain people to be with us we are validating our idea of who we are instead of our idea of who we want to be.
Even, typically, when you choose a mate, you are choosing someone who will reflect your ideas of what personality characteristics you feel you are missing but really want to have. They are a reflection of what you want to be but feel that you are not. It is all about you and your needs, and the needier you are the more pronounced this tendency becomes.
There is a saying that whenever you point a finger at someone else in judgment, there are really three fingers pointing back at you. Just recently I judged someone harshly and even as I was doing it I knew that it was because she reminded me of all those things about myself that I would prefer not to face. She was in a way validating my critical opinion of myself. It wasn't about her faults, it was about mine.
This is something we all need to be aware of as we go around judging everyone. Instead of judging them we need to realize that we invited them into our lives for a reason. We need to ask ourselves "What can I learn about myself from this person? What can he/she tell me about where I need to improve?". And to recognize that if we are not comfortable being with them, it is because we are not comfortable being with ourselves. It is ourselves that we need to try to improve, not them.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Think
Where all think alike, no one thinks very much.
Walter Lipman
It is easy to agree with someone else. It requires no thought. We tend to just assume that the other person has done all the thinking and has come up with the most logical conclusion. But how many times have you done that and then been shocked later to find out that he really knows not much more than you do. There is the expression "the blind following the blind". But we do this all the time without even realising it.
How much are we thinking when we agree with someone else? Agreement just requires recognizing your own train of thought in someone else. But what happens if you disagree with someone? How much are you thinking then? If you are like me you are thinking up all kinds of reasons why he is wrong. And why you are right. That's a lot of thought. And going through that process helps you work out what you really do beleive. It might even make you change your mind.
This whole process is only amplified when there are many people all saying the same thing. We are even more likely to assume that at least one of them has done his homework. And that assumption is even more likely to be wrong. Peer pressure is a very powerful thing. But where all think alike, no one thinks very much. And when no one is thinking very much, nobody is learning and growing. Nobody is being challenged to really think about what he is saying. Dare to think differently. Dare to express a difference of opinion. It is essential not just for your own growth, but for everyone else's as well.
Walter Lipman
It is easy to agree with someone else. It requires no thought. We tend to just assume that the other person has done all the thinking and has come up with the most logical conclusion. But how many times have you done that and then been shocked later to find out that he really knows not much more than you do. There is the expression "the blind following the blind". But we do this all the time without even realising it.
How much are we thinking when we agree with someone else? Agreement just requires recognizing your own train of thought in someone else. But what happens if you disagree with someone? How much are you thinking then? If you are like me you are thinking up all kinds of reasons why he is wrong. And why you are right. That's a lot of thought. And going through that process helps you work out what you really do beleive. It might even make you change your mind.
This whole process is only amplified when there are many people all saying the same thing. We are even more likely to assume that at least one of them has done his homework. And that assumption is even more likely to be wrong. Peer pressure is a very powerful thing. But where all think alike, no one thinks very much. And when no one is thinking very much, nobody is learning and growing. Nobody is being challenged to really think about what he is saying. Dare to think differently. Dare to express a difference of opinion. It is essential not just for your own growth, but for everyone else's as well.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Enlightenment
Enlightenment is a destructive process: it's the crumbling away of untruth.
Adyashanti
I am a person who has always been even more terrified of destruction than I love to create. But the simple truth is that you can't create something without destroying something else. There is only so much stuff in the world. The only way to get something new is to get rid of something else in order to make room for it. This goes so far as the experience that many people have that as soon as they clean up their house, something that they've been wanting suddenly arrives.
From the time we are born, we are learning untruths. We learn from the media and from the people around us what men and women and "African-Americans" and "First Nations" and other groups of people are supposed to behave like. We have stereotypes of what a woman does. There used to be a book out many years ago about "Real Women Don't Pump Gas". That was, of course, before we had to pump gas whether we wanted to or not. But that's the way we are trained to think. Real Women do certain things and Real Men do certain other things.
Enlightenment is a destructive process: it's the crumbling away of untruth. It is only when we can move past all these conceptions about how we are supposed to behave that we discover who we really are and how we are really meant to behave. It can be extremely difficult to crumble away those untruths we have learned. It is very difficult for most of us to ignore what we are seeing around us, even when we know that it is misleading us. But it is something we must all do as much as and as quickly as we can. We don't have to create ourselves. We just have to find a way to brush off all the dirt and garbage so that our real selves can shine through.
Adyashanti
I am a person who has always been even more terrified of destruction than I love to create. But the simple truth is that you can't create something without destroying something else. There is only so much stuff in the world. The only way to get something new is to get rid of something else in order to make room for it. This goes so far as the experience that many people have that as soon as they clean up their house, something that they've been wanting suddenly arrives.
From the time we are born, we are learning untruths. We learn from the media and from the people around us what men and women and "African-Americans" and "First Nations" and other groups of people are supposed to behave like. We have stereotypes of what a woman does. There used to be a book out many years ago about "Real Women Don't Pump Gas". That was, of course, before we had to pump gas whether we wanted to or not. But that's the way we are trained to think. Real Women do certain things and Real Men do certain other things.
Enlightenment is a destructive process: it's the crumbling away of untruth. It is only when we can move past all these conceptions about how we are supposed to behave that we discover who we really are and how we are really meant to behave. It can be extremely difficult to crumble away those untruths we have learned. It is very difficult for most of us to ignore what we are seeing around us, even when we know that it is misleading us. But it is something we must all do as much as and as quickly as we can. We don't have to create ourselves. We just have to find a way to brush off all the dirt and garbage so that our real selves can shine through.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Hero
A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.
Joseph Campbell
It is interesting that we all really admire those people who have dedicated their life to something other than their own individual needs. We all worship those people who have been able to break free of their ego. Jesus. Muhammad. Buddha. There were just more extreme examples of people who broke free of their ego and committed themselves to higher ideals, to improving other people's lives. To those of us who are unable to do that, they are heroes indeed.
We all must know, somewhere deep down, that there is more to life than just satisfying the demands of our own ego. Accumulating pleasures for ourselves is just not satisfying after a while. And the more things we find that make us happy, the more frightened we get that we will lose them some day. They often become over time more of a pain than a pleasure. No matter how many wonderful things we are able to find for ourselves, we still don't feel good about ourselves. We know, deep down, that something is missing.
It is human nature to love people for those aspects of their personality that we want for ourselves but can't find in ourselves. And of course the less we feel that we have that desirable personality trait, the more we love those people who have it. We feel as if they will make us whole, will fill the spiritual hole that we know we have inside. And they certainly help, at least for a while. So it is no surprise that the one kind of person that all of us love the very most, is one who loves not just himself; not even just us, but everyone. A hero is someone who wants to help not just himself but also everyone else, who cares not just for himself but for us too.
Joseph Campbell
It is interesting that we all really admire those people who have dedicated their life to something other than their own individual needs. We all worship those people who have been able to break free of their ego. Jesus. Muhammad. Buddha. There were just more extreme examples of people who broke free of their ego and committed themselves to higher ideals, to improving other people's lives. To those of us who are unable to do that, they are heroes indeed.
We all must know, somewhere deep down, that there is more to life than just satisfying the demands of our own ego. Accumulating pleasures for ourselves is just not satisfying after a while. And the more things we find that make us happy, the more frightened we get that we will lose them some day. They often become over time more of a pain than a pleasure. No matter how many wonderful things we are able to find for ourselves, we still don't feel good about ourselves. We know, deep down, that something is missing.
It is human nature to love people for those aspects of their personality that we want for ourselves but can't find in ourselves. And of course the less we feel that we have that desirable personality trait, the more we love those people who have it. We feel as if they will make us whole, will fill the spiritual hole that we know we have inside. And they certainly help, at least for a while. So it is no surprise that the one kind of person that all of us love the very most, is one who loves not just himself; not even just us, but everyone. A hero is someone who wants to help not just himself but also everyone else, who cares not just for himself but for us too.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Saving Time
"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
Will Rogers
Here is an interesting idea. How often have you had to "hurry up and wait" lately? We are always trying to do everything more efficiently. We multitask, trying to do as many things as possible at the same time. The younger generation are real experts at it, finding it easy to text message someone, work on the computer, and watch a movie all at the same time. I could never do that. But it has been shown that all this multitasking is actually less efficient than doing one thing at a time. Because any one thing is not done as well as it could be if you focused all your attention on it.
So what do we do with all this time that we have saved. We don't have any more time now than we did before all the labor saving household appliances were invented. Because we just find new things to fill up the extra time. We are desperate for things to occupy our minds and bodies. We rush to buy pet rocks and certificates saying that distant stars have been named after us. And peices of toast that supposedly have some faint image of Christ on them. We are willing to pay big bucks for entertainment, much more than we are willing to pay for practical things or for knowledge.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. But are we any further ahead from saving all this time? Hurrying up in order to wait is a frustrating lack of balance in our lives. It would be much better to relax and do your tasks as effectively as possible by taking them one at a time. And then when it comes time to do something fun, you won't be too stressed out and tired to enjoy that and you will have a much better idea of what would be the best way to spend your downtime.
Will Rogers
Here is an interesting idea. How often have you had to "hurry up and wait" lately? We are always trying to do everything more efficiently. We multitask, trying to do as many things as possible at the same time. The younger generation are real experts at it, finding it easy to text message someone, work on the computer, and watch a movie all at the same time. I could never do that. But it has been shown that all this multitasking is actually less efficient than doing one thing at a time. Because any one thing is not done as well as it could be if you focused all your attention on it.
So what do we do with all this time that we have saved. We don't have any more time now than we did before all the labor saving household appliances were invented. Because we just find new things to fill up the extra time. We are desperate for things to occupy our minds and bodies. We rush to buy pet rocks and certificates saying that distant stars have been named after us. And peices of toast that supposedly have some faint image of Christ on them. We are willing to pay big bucks for entertainment, much more than we are willing to pay for practical things or for knowledge.
Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. But are we any further ahead from saving all this time? Hurrying up in order to wait is a frustrating lack of balance in our lives. It would be much better to relax and do your tasks as effectively as possible by taking them one at a time. And then when it comes time to do something fun, you won't be too stressed out and tired to enjoy that and you will have a much better idea of what would be the best way to spend your downtime.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Wrong
"No persons are more frequently wrong, than those who will not admit they are wrong."
Duc De La Rochefoucauld
We often encounter people who will not admit they are wrong. Maybe you have met one of those people who always have to be the center of attention, are never wrong and are better at anyone else than any particular thing. My mother is like that. I have learned that it is a sign of emotional trauma. Somewhere along the way, probably back in childhood, these people have been told that they are not important , not competant, and always wrong. And their ego overcompensates to cope with the damage.
The truth is that most of us start off being wrong. We do things we regret later. We fail. And the first step to learning from our mistakes is having someone supportive point out that we made a mistake (which is not always obvious to us in the beginning). If we don't listen to that person in the first place because we won't admit that we were wrong, then we can't learn what we need to learn to fix the mistake or avoid making it again in the future.
If we can't deal with being wrong, then we will not listen to the advice of those who would help us. If we can't tolerate making a mistake, we will not learn from them. The only way anyone can get better and become successful is to admit that he was wrong, he made a mistake, and he failed. Then he can learn from his mistakes and from the people around him who are trying to help him succeed. Never be afraid to say you screwed up. Because admitting you screwed up is the essential part of making sure you don't screw up next time too. It is essential to your learning, growing, and succeeding.
Duc De La Rochefoucauld
We often encounter people who will not admit they are wrong. Maybe you have met one of those people who always have to be the center of attention, are never wrong and are better at anyone else than any particular thing. My mother is like that. I have learned that it is a sign of emotional trauma. Somewhere along the way, probably back in childhood, these people have been told that they are not important , not competant, and always wrong. And their ego overcompensates to cope with the damage.
The truth is that most of us start off being wrong. We do things we regret later. We fail. And the first step to learning from our mistakes is having someone supportive point out that we made a mistake (which is not always obvious to us in the beginning). If we don't listen to that person in the first place because we won't admit that we were wrong, then we can't learn what we need to learn to fix the mistake or avoid making it again in the future.
If we can't deal with being wrong, then we will not listen to the advice of those who would help us. If we can't tolerate making a mistake, we will not learn from them. The only way anyone can get better and become successful is to admit that he was wrong, he made a mistake, and he failed. Then he can learn from his mistakes and from the people around him who are trying to help him succeed. Never be afraid to say you screwed up. Because admitting you screwed up is the essential part of making sure you don't screw up next time too. It is essential to your learning, growing, and succeeding.
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