Unhappiness

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations: Edward De Bono.

What makes you unhappy? Most of us can list a lot of things that make us feel sad. These turn out to be usually things that we want but for one reason or another don't have right now. We feel sad when we do not have something we want, whether it is a sunny day, a loving relationship, a vacation, or a new dress. The most important part of this though, is that usually we feel sad that we don't have something we want because we beleive it is possible that we won't be able to, for whatever reason, get it anytime in the future either.

Even if we haven't had a vacation in years, if we knew we were going to get one next year, we wouldn't feel sad about it. We'd feel excited. We'd be really looking forward to it with happy anticipation. That's the difference that expectations make. If you know you will get something in the future you have hope. You are able to picture yourself having what you want because you know it is just a matter of time. You expect to get what you want, and that makes it much more real for you.

We often know what talents we have but don't really know how to use them effectively. Often we have talents that we didn't even know about. So for most people a lot or most of their talent goes unused or underutilized. It is when we are not using our talents adequately that our lives are unfulfilling, even meaningless. So our talents are a very important part of the equation of unhappiness.

Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations. When it comes down to it, unhappiness is the feeling that we are missing something and may never get it, and that something is ultimately the knowledge that we are utilizing our talents effectively. The happiest person is the one who expects to be able to utilize his talents effectively; to be the best he can be in this life.