Self-esteem

Persons of high self esteem are not driven to make themselves superior to others; they do not seek to prove their value by measuring themselves against a comparative standard. Their joy is being who they are, not in being better than someone else.
Nathaniel Branden

It is those people who think the least of themselves who tell everyone that they are the greatest people around. So often someone seems to be vain and haughty when in reality they are actually afraid that they are worse than everyone else. It is as though they are trying to convince themselves that they are good enough and defining that as being at least as good as the people surrounding them. They compare themselves with others.

Only someone who is happy with who they are can afford not to compare himself with others. Someone who feels they are worse than others has already compared themselves with others and now can't disentangle himself from that. Since being worse than others is so intolerable, now he feels that he must be better than they are in order to be acceptable to himself. Once he beleives his value is in relation to others, the only tolerable conclusion is that he must be better than they are. The further the pendulum has swung the one way, the farther it must swing back the other way.

I have a daughter who, when criticized, points out that she is better than my other daughter because my other daughter can't do something that she can. I reply that it is true but then my other daughter can do something that she can't. It is pointless to compare yourself to other people because there will always be some things that they do better than you can, and some things that you do better than they can.

Everyone has an equal value without having to be the same, just as men and women as seperate groups have an equal value even though they have many differences. You can never be better than anyone else, but you can never be worse than they are either. Everyone has their own unique set of both strengths and weaknesses. Make your joy in being the wonderful person that you are, not in being better than someone else. Celebrate yourself.