Bore

The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.
Voltaire

We sometimes talk about a bore as someone who talks on and on about himself and never lets us get a word in edgewise when we want to talk about ourself too and how we relate to what he has just said. We know that a good conversation consists of tossing the ball back and forth, and we resent it when that doesn't happen. But being a bore isn't just about not letting anyone else have their turn to talk.

When someone goes on and on talking about themself, there are no questions for us to ask. We are not curious about the way he feels about something or the way he sees something because he has already told us, or we expect him to tell us soon. We already know his experiences in life, perhaps more about him than we ever wanted to. There is nothing new to discover about him at all.

When someone just tells everything about himself, the listener gets bored because there is no mystery to engage her. The real joy in having a close relationship with someone else is in gradually finding out about who they are. It is the joy of wondering how they see their world, and gradually getting answers; of exploring all their similarities and differences with us, little by little. It is the mystery of another person which keeps us interested in them. When all is revealed too soon, our interest dies.