Giving

Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege.
John D. Rockefeller

We feel like we are obliged to give things to other people. We feel like it is their right to receive things from us. We learn at a very young age that if we don't give things to parents, teachers etc that they want us to, then they can and will harm us by taking away something we need because of that. It begins to feel like a sin to us to not give other people all they desire just because they desire it. We feel guilty when we don't feel like giving. Giving seems like our duty. We owe it to them.

But the truth is that we do not owe anything to anyone. That's just a control game. If we are giving something to someone because we feel like we have to because it is our duty, then it is going to be given with resentment and anger and guilt, and then it is not really giving. The whole idea of giving presupposes that you want to give. Nobody wants to give unless he feels like he has a choice in the matter. Unless he feels like he is giving because he chose to.

Giving is actually a privilege. It is your opportunity to help the other person up, which demonstrates that you are up yourself. It is your opportunity to put your strengths and skills to good use. It is your opportunity to take the higher road and do the right thing. The desire to give is built into our spirits. It is what God intended us to do. We know that deep down. It is only when the healthy impulse to give is mixed up with a lot of unhealthy emotions like resentment and anger and guilt that it becomes something we don't want to do.

When we treat giving like the privilege it is, then it becomes enjoyable again. We feel a lot better about ourselves. Giving is a wonderful self-esteem booster. It is a great way to learn and grow and enjoy our life and our relationships. It is not just a privilege but a blessing.