Our Chief Want

Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are social beings and we are very influenced by the people around us. There's no getting away from that. We care about what other people think about us. Our ego thrives on us seeming better in some way than the people around us. It demands adulation. It needs other people to come up to us and say "You are so clever" or "You are so strong" etc. But our ego has it wrong. It is not the admiration and respect of other people that we really crave.

What we really crave is someone who will not just tell us how wonderful we are, because talk is cheap, but who will actually make us become that wonderful person, to become the best we can be. We long for a person who will love even our faults and in so doing, will help us minimize them. We long for a person who has the vision to see what we can be; who cares enough about us to realize that we have a lot of room for improvement, and is willing to take the time to help us fill in that. What we really want is someone who will do their best to make us grow; who cares as much about our growth as their own. Sometimes this happens in marriage, but sometimes it does not.

People like that are very hard to find, so when you do find someone treat them like the treasure they are. Help them become their best too, because that not only expresses your gratitude but also has the effect of stimulating your own growth. By mutually working together to improve both of you, each of you acheives much more than you would by either going it alone or just helping the other person. It's a win-win situation. And it is exactly what you really want out of life