Fear

What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do.
Timothy Ferris

Why is it that we are afraid of doing whatever in our hearts we know we need to do? I think it is that we are leaving our comfort zone to do something differently, and that is always scary. We know we need to grow, we can all list many faults we have that we want to get rid of. Yet we are used to these faults, and even to the coping mechanisms we have set up long ago to try to deal with issues. Just to take away our coping mechanisms that we have used for a long time in order to deal with annoying people or difficult conversations, for example, is pretty scary.

Whenever we are afraid of something we are imagining that something terrible will happen in the future. We wonder what will happen to us if there is a very difficult conversation, for example, and we can't deal with it the way we used to in the past. How can we cope with it now, before we have learned and incorporated any other new and more effective ways to deal with it? We start to imagine all sorts of undesirable outcomes that may happen. And we become afraid.

What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do. Getting past that fear of the unknown is the most important thing. And the best way to do that is simply to get started. Do what you know you need to do. Don't put it off because that just makes it more difficult to get started again. Start with easier problems (ex a conversation that is only a little difficult) so that you don't get overwhelmed and discouraged. Maybe you need to go to a group where everyone is working on the same issues. Do whatever you need to. But don't let fear keep you where you are. Use it to determine where you most need to go. And get going on it.